


This Pain We Share

by Symone_Nicole



Series: Soul [1]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Genre: I suck at tagging, M/M, Soulmate AU, i suck at summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 01:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18928954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symone_Nicole/pseuds/Symone_Nicole
Summary: In a world where soulmates exist and they share the same pain, illness, or strong emotions.  It doesn't stop until the two of them make eye contact.





	1. Part One

These days the nights have grown longer and colder for Leia Organa. She sighs as she lays down her datapad for picking up her drink. She seldom drinks but with the state of the council bickering these days she needs one. It isn’t just the state of the republic that wears her down but the state of her relationship with Han Solo. She couldn’t recall the last time she saw Han Solo--she knew that it had been an entire standard month yet still it feels much longer. She knew what she signed up for when she entire this relationship with Han. She was never born with the phantom pain of her soulmate and when she met Han she thought he was the same. It wasn’t until after the war that she discovered that Han had a soulmate and yet she still wanted to bear his child. The three of them had a compromise that seemed to work, but she knew the one that suffered the most from Han’s absence was their son, Ben. 

Leia couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her son. Her smile falter when she realized she had hardly been a part of their son’s life. She stares down in the amber gold of her drink as she gets lost in her thoughts. A shrieking yell woke her from her thoughts and it startled her to the point that she let go of her drink and it shattered all over the table. She quickly realized the shriek was coming from her son and without hesitation she rushed to his room. She turned on the lights as she entered to see her son sitting up in his bed, shivering. Her eyes widen as she could see the bruises and cuts appear on her child’s face. 

“Oh Ben,” Leia said as she moved across the room to hold her son in her arms. “It’s alright, baby. Momma is right here.”

Leia gently rocked her child side to side as he continued to cry so hard to the point where he could barely breathe. She stayed until his cries calmed down to hushed whimpers. Ben, barely seven years old, rubbed his red eyes. 

“Why,” he hoarse voice called out. “Why am I hurting, Mom? Why am I in pain?”

“You know how there are soulmates?” Leia started off and watched as Ben sniffed before nodding his head. “Soulmates share each others pain. When your soulmate is suffering then you will suffer. When you are suffering then so shall your soulmate. If your soulmate gets wounded then so shall you. If you get wounded then so shall your soulmate. It doesn’t stop until the two of you make eye contact with each other.” 

“My soulmate is suffering,” Ben said as he lowered his head. 

“That they are,” Leia responded. 

“I gotta meet them,” Ben paused, “so that they won’t suffer like this ever again.” 

Leia’s eyes widen at her son’s declaration and she couldn’t but smile at the light in her son. “You will meet them. Soulmates are destined--they are two people that share one heart.” Leia said as she gently placed her hand over her son’s heart and held it there briefly. “Now, let’s see to these wounds.”

Days passed were young Ben Solo was filled with sadness until he woke up in the middle of the night and felt nothing. He didn’t know if he should be concerned about the state of his soulmate but soon a wave of fatigue swept over him and he quickly fell asleep. Ben went the remaining days being careful of the state of his body. If he was to get a bruise or a scrap from playing he would secretly tell his soulmate that he was sorry. He apologized for the times he couldn’t help but be sad when his parents weren’t around. He apologized when he fell ill with a cold or a fever. He apologized for when bruises and cuts randomly appeared on his body.

Ben went through a full year of random bruises and cuts appearing on his body. The next year they became less frequent. The third year they were almost rare enough to the point that Ben had to wonder if he was the one that got hurt. In the third year, and Ben was hardly ten years old when he had his force awakening. His power grew out of control and by the time his uncle finally calmed him down there were cuts across his body and he was scared and afraid and hoped that his soulmate would be okay. 

He was curious that since he was force-sensitive would his soulmate be as well. Luke Skywalker had no answers for his young nephew. Luke didn’t have a soulmate and neither did his sister and from what he heard among other Jedi it was rare for force-users to have soulmates. He knew that he would inquire information soon while Ben hoped that with his awakening his soulmate did as well. He believed that they would meet each other soon especially with the guidance of the force. 

Years later and across the galaxy, FN-2187 woke when he felt a piercing pain in his stomach. One of his hands clutched over his stomach while the other covered his mouth. The last thing he needed was to wake his squadmates. His eyes grew watery over the intense pain as he carefully climbed out of his bunk bed. He crept out of their squad bunkers and went straight towards the showers.

The lights turned on as FN-2187 stepped inside and went straight towards the mirrors. He lifted up his shirt and his eyes grew in shock and the dark purplish bruise growing in front of him. He didn’t take a hit to the stomach in their sparring sessions today especially not one to his stomach. He stood there pondering as he looked at the bruise and his fingers gently pressed around the tender flesh. He never even heard the footsteps that were walking into the showers and the voice of his captain startled him. 

“FN-2187, is there a reason why you are out of your squad’s barracks beyond curfew?” Phasma said until her eyes landed on the bruise through the mirror. She only got a quick glimpse before FN-2187 turned around while lowering his shirt. “Lift your shirt again, FN-2187.” 

The trooper did as he was told. 

“How did this wound happen? I don’t remember you taking a hit in the sparring sessions today.”

“I don’t know, ma’am.” FN-2187 responded, “I woke up in pain and came in here and saw it appear out of nowhere.”

Phasma brows lowered in confusion, “has this happened before?”

FN-2187 nodded his head weakly, “Bruises or cuts would just show up, ma’am. And I couldn’t remember how they could have occurred.” 

Phasma sighs as she rubs her temple, “lower your shirt, FN-2187.” Phasma mind was racing and she couldn’t believe that her favored stormtrooper survived the conditioning and still had a soulmate. The conditioning wasn’t just to wipe the mind of orphaned recruiters but to erase the connection with their soulmate. Phasma sighs again as she made her decision.

“FN-2817,” She called out sternly.

The trooper quickly stood to attention without pause, “Yes, Ma’am!”

“Don’t tell anyone else about these bruises or cuts. Always come up with an excuse for them and if they are as bad as this you come and get me and I’ll take you to medbay. If you want to live you will make sure that only the two of us know of this. Do I make myself clear, FN-2187?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” FN-2817 responded but then paused, “but why is it happening, Captain?”

Phasma sighs, “the less you know the better. Trust me. Now follow me, I’ll take you to medbay.” 

FN-2187 did just as he was told. He didn’t tell anyone about the bruises that appeared and each time his squadmate noticed one of them he got quicker at lying about them. Phasma never told him what it meant and he decided that it was best he didn’t know. To keep their secret, Phasma eventually had his duties changed to sanitation. Of course, it caused a rift between him and other stormtroopers but he thought it was worth it when he would suddenly feel angry. Most of the days he felt torn and didn’t understand why he was so conflicted.

This carried on for some time until he crashed into his cleaning cart one day from the sheer pain he felt. He felt betrayed, pissed, and sad all at the same time and it was like emotions belong to someone else. He was glad that he was in the basement since bruises, cuts, and burns started to appear on his body. His cleaning duties were complete and he walked back to the barracks trying not to falter each time a new area of his body suddenly was in pain. After that day, the bruises and cuts became more frequent to the point were FN-2187 became used to it and wouldn’t flinch at the sudden pain. This had been his life for years. The random bruises just a secret between him and his captain.


	2. Part Two

Kylo Ren walked off his ship into Starkiller’s docking bay to be met by General Hux’s face. 

“Ren, so nice of you to show up.” General greeted him while crossing his arms. 

Kylo rolled his eyes as he walked passed him with barely a grunt as a response. He was already pissed due to his mission and the last thing he needed to do was kill his master’s favorite lap dog. The pain was radiating from his arm and he knew that it had to have been cut badly from the sudden explosion. He quickly made his way to the medical bay and everyone in the halls cleared the way for him since they didn’t want to be at the end of his fury. 

It was only him and a sanitation trooper in the hall that led directly to the medical bay. Kylo watched as the trooper stopped and hold his bicep as if he was in pain. It was exactly where Kylo’s bicep was hurting and he stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at the trooper. His thoughts were running of the possibilities. He knew that stormtroopers didn’t have soulmates because of the conditioning but a part of him was hoping that this wasn’t just a coincidence. 

Kylo watched the trooper as he brought his hand to his arm and pressed his fingers deep into his wound. He stood unmoved by the pain only gritting a little and his eyes widen as he watched the sanitation trooper double over while grasping over his arm tightly. Kylo slowly let go of his wound as he stood there watching his soulmate suffer. Time passed with Kylo’s hesitation before he eventually turned around and walked away with heavy steps. 

He resisted the urge to read the sanitation’s troopers mind to find out his designation. Kylo Ren believed that the less he knew of his soulmate the better--he knew his master saw soulmates as a weakness. He didn’t want his soulmate to be affected by his pain but he knew that if he was to let his existence known that it would put his life in danger. Kylo Ren grunted as he walked into his private quarters where he quickly attended to his wound. He apologized before he crossed his legs to meditate and think about his options.

Kylo Ren’s options were limited but he couldn’t decide--even if he did it wouldn’t stop the outcome dictated. A squad of troopers was walking ahead of them and they snickered as a sanitation trooper came into view. Kylo Ren paid them no attention but when one of the troopers went out of his way to kick the sanitation trooper his shin starting radiating pain. His anger and protectiveness swell up in him as he swallowed his pain and stormed after those troopers. He called out to them and order them to follow him. He escorted to a training simulation room where he beat them up and nearly killed the one that was the source of his pain. 

After dealing with Hux’s nagging, he returned to his quarters and looked up the sanitation troopers information. The TK stormtroopers called out his designation before he was attacked. He was FN-2187. Kylo stared at the image of FN-2187 as his gloved fingers gently caressed the image he quickly read over his file. He was an outstanding shooter and proficient with any weapon and a brilliant strategist and yet he was assigned to sanitation duty. It was a waste, he thought. He thought many things as he maximized his soulmates photo and felt the heat rushing to his loins. 

His imagination was vivid as he imagined those soft lips against his own and his manhood grew to hardness as he imagined them wrapped around his cock. He peeled off his gloves as the image began to run its course. He pushed down his pants and briefs at the same to free his hot member into the slightly chilled air. He rubbed himself as he imagined becoming one with his soulmate and he reached completion when he heard his soulmate calling out for him. He sat there panting as the evidence of his arousal float in the air and he made his mind that he would make contact with his mate. It would be foolish for him to avoid him not when his want was so strong.

FN-2817’s back slides down the walls in the supply closet as he made quick work to remove the pants of his armor. He didn’t understand why he was getting turned on so fast while putting away cleaning supplies. He knew he had time to take care of his sudden need but he hoped that doing it in a supply closet didn’t become a habit. His body felt on fire and his hardness was happy to be set free from the confinements of his suit. He removed his gloves hastily as he started to stroke himself. He closed his eyes as he let his imagination carry him but it felt strange to him--like it wasn’t entirely up to his control. 

He started to get frustrated as he went to removed his chest piece quickly. With his chest piece out of the way, his hand pushed up his shirt and he held it in his mouth as he quickly started to touch his chest. He never played with his chest while searching for an orgasm but it felt too good to stop. One hand on his manhood and the other on his nipple and yet he still yearned for me. He felt a warming sensation below and with curiosity, he led his hand down to his entrance. He shivered as his finger gently traced around his hole and to his surprise he came just like that. He sat on the floor panting covered in his own seed until he gathered his wits and quickly cleaned up so he could report to training on time.

The following shift cycle, FN-2187 noticed that he had only one area to clean and it was Kylo Ren’s quarters. It was odd--troopers on sanitation always cleaned the same area unless Kylo Ren went on a rampage. He never heard of any one part of sanitation having to clean his room but then he quickly shrugged it off and decided that perhaps Lord Ren had one of his episodes in his private quarters. It would be an easy day for him and he quickly made his way to Kylo Ren’s quarters. He hoped it wouldn’t take long.

FN-2187 was surprised that the door to Kylo Ren’s quarters slide open before he could swipe his access card. He was even more shocked as Kylo Ren stood there before him in all of his eerie glory. “Lord Ren, sir!” he stated as he quickly stood to attention, “I was ordered to clean your quarters, sir!”

Kylo looked at him, at least FN-2187 thought he was, with a long pause. It was long enough that FN-2187 wanted to double check his assignment list to make sure he didn’t misread it.   
“I know,” Kylo Ren stated suddenly, “I put in the request myself. Come in, FN-2187.” Kylo moved to the side to allow the stormtrooper to pass and as he walked by him Kylo went to appreciate all of his assets.

FN-2187 stood in the force users room in awe. It was different than the rest of the ship. It lacked the sterile attribute unlike the rest of Starkiller base. It had personality--the owner's personality. It was dark and moody but he felt comfortable here odd enough. His cart stopped as his eyes widen at awe at the large viewing window. He didn’t even realize he was moving towards the window as he stared out at the galaxy.

“It’s beautiful,” FN-2187 stated.

“I know,” Kylo responded while observing him.

FN-2187 slightly jumped almost forgetting why he was here, “sorry, sir! I’ll clean your promptly without any distractions.”

“It’s fine,” Kylo responded as he leaned against a doorway, “take your time.”

FN-2187 started looking around Lord Ren’s room to find where he had thrown a tantrum. “Where is it?” FN-2187 asked the man himself. 

Kylo tilted his head in confusion.

“The area you want me to clean,” FN-2187 paused, “you know where you…” his voice trailed but Kylo quickly picked up his thoughts. 

Kylo coughed in embarrassment as his face heated up, “my room just needs to be clean. I didn’t go on a volatile rampage in here.”

“Yes sir! Sorry, sir!” FN-2187 as he quickly returned to his cart and started to clean his quarters. Kylo Ren’s quarters were huge and he wasn’t quite sure where he should start.

“Start anywhere. It doesn’t matter.” Kylo responded as if he could read his thoughts and that’s when FN-2187 remembered about the force and its mind games. 

He heard Kylo snort or was it a cough--he wasn’t so sure but he set his mind on cleaning to not anger the man. He cleaned while the Knight Master watched him silently. His staring made him feel uncomfortable but part of him enjoyed his attention even though he couldn’t understand why. Time seemed to drag on and yet move quickly as FN-2187 cleaned Lord Ren’s quarters. When he finished he set to leave while bidding farewell to the knight master.

Ren caught him by his elbow, “wait there’s one more thing.” 

 

FN-2187 paused, “yes, sir?”

“Take off your gloves and hold out your hands,” Kylo ordered as he started to remove his own gloves. FN-2187 thought the request was odd and yet he did as he was told. His eyes widen in alarmed as he watched a knife floated over towards Ren. 

“Pay close attention at our hands,” Kylo stated as he grabbed the knife by the handle.

FN-2187’s breathe was caught in his throat as he watched Kylo bring the blade of the knife to the palm of his left hand. He made a cut across the palm and didn’t falter at the sting of the pain. While FN-2187 watched the blood pour out he felt a stinging pain in his own left hand. His eyes widen as he watched the cut mark appear just as it did on Kylo Ren. 

“Ho-how did you do that?” FN-2187 asked as he watched his own blood until a healing bandage floated and covered his cut.

“Do you not know what this means?” Kylo asks then sighs.

“No, I’ve always noticed bruises or scrapes or cuts that appeared but didn’t know how I got them.” FN-2187 responded, “Captain Phasma wouldn’t tell me what it meant.”

“Of course she wouldn’t and she was wise not to tell you. It was foolish for me to seek you out.” Kylo said as he started to remove his mask. 

FN-2187 gulped as he looked at Kylo Ren and thought that he was handsome. He wanted to reach out and caress his cheeks, to kiss his nose, to run his fingers through his hair. He watched as Kylo’s cheeks slightly flushed pink to red before he cough. 

“What do you know about soulmates?”

“An urban legend--mostly written about in those free digibooks,” FN-2187 responded and Kylo sighed.

“Soulmates are real. The order gets rid of the connection and never teaches the troopers about soulmates. Soulmates they share each other’s pain and suffering or intense physical conditions. If one gets hurt and then so shall the other.” Kylo responded and he watched as the stormtrooper’s knees buckled and he used the force to catch him and lead him to his couch.

“You...and me… are soulmates?! And what--we are going to go on with the rest of our lives like this.” FN-2187 said with his voice shaking.

“No, we don’t have to go on like this.”

“So you can sever it?”

“I won’t!” Kylo immediately belted. He took a deep breath as he knelt in front of FN-2187. “I’m not going to sever it-- I may be foolish about this but I don’t want to lose this.” Kylo continued.

FN-2187 pressed his back in the couch as Kylo moved in closer to unreleased his helmet. He thought he was going to pull it off of him and part of him wanted him too.

“The sharing of physical ailments stop when we make eye contact.” Kylo said, “it’s up to you to take your helmet off in front of me now or walk away. I can’t be reasonable about this. My master despises soulmates and there’s nothing he won’t do to you if he decides you will compromise me and our goal. Think about this as long as you want right now but if you decide to walk away please don’t come back.” 

FN-2187 watched as Kylo kept his head lowered and he could see his hand clutching over his heart. It was silent between them as FN-2187 thought about their current situation. He quickly understood why his captain didn’t want to tell him. It was no secret that she favored him but she couldn’t have known about the identity of his soulmate. He already made a decision long ago when the truth was told to him.

FN-2187 reached out and caressed Kylo’s hair and he smirked when he saw the knight master flinch. “It’s as soft as I thought it would be,” FN-2187 stated calmly.

“If you’re going to leave then just go. Please.” Kylo responded as he tried to resist moving his head closer to his soulmates touches. His breath caught in his throat when he felt the hand stop.

“Look at me,” FN-2187 responded.

Kylo did just that and he couldn’t help the tears that fled when he met the warm brown eyes of his soulmate. Even FN-2187 was surprised by his own tears but he could feel their connection becoming stronger. He felt like the world had stopped to give them the two all the time they would need. He didn’t think about anything else except for the man kneeling before him. 

Kylo moved quickly and wiped away his soulmate’s tears, “you are a bigger fool than I am,” he muttered before he pressed their lips together. 

The kiss was everything--electrifying yet calming and FN-2187 knew that he had made the right choice and Kylo Ren was elated that he didn’t leave. When their lips finally parted, FN-2187 licked his lips as he nuzzled his face in Kylo’s soft caress. “I guess we are a pair of fools, but we will get through it together.” 

Kylo rested their foreheads together, “no matter what?” 

FN-2187 wrapped his arm around Kylo’s neck, “no matter who tries to stop us. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this short fic!  
> Thank you so much for reading!


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